Do You Seek To Be Praised? Or Called Out?
A small tip of the hat can keep us going for a while. The applause. A nod. Compliment. Cheers. A “like” or maybe a “heart.”
While there’s never been more ways to receive a compliment, criticism travels the same path — but with a different intent.
Perhaps I’m in the minority here, but has constructive criticism become a lost art?
Not the anonymous haters (sometimes not so anonymous). I’m talking about the startling feedback that wakes us up. When you thought praise was heading your way, but instead… you were called out.
“Could have been better.”
“You’re doing it, but you’re not feeling it.”
“I think you’re holding back.”
“Dig deeper.”
I recall, vividly, a whitewater slalom workout on North Carolina’s Nantahala River in the Spring of 1992. The top U.S. two-person canoe teams in attendance this day were all contenders for the U.S. Olympic Team. The selection trials were a few weeks away.
The athletes really enjoyed the competitive spirit on the river that day. They were “in the groove.”
About half way through the workout, my canoe partner and I finished a particularly good run on the course. There was a distinct pause of silence until the head coach called out our time. He called it loudly so all of the boats could hear.
We were the fastest boat on the course… so far.
I felt good. I looked up at our coach and smiled in his direction.
He stared back. Then, he picked up his megaphone and shouted the names of the two-man canoe team from the Czechoslovakia — and called out their “imaginary” time. A second and half faster than the time we just posted.
This Czech team was the favorite to win gold at the Olympics later that summer. And our coach just let us know where we stood.
My smile disappeared. We were called out. And the imaginary boat was born.
You see, our coach seized on the very moment where being best in the U.S. appeared OK to us. He knew the imaginary boat — the Czech team — wasn’t playing to be the best in their country. They play to be the best in the world.
The imaginary boat followed us to many more of our workouts as we headed towards the Olympic Trials. And then beyond as we pointed our bow towards the Olympic Games competition in Spain. The real names of our competitors and their results as determined by our coach shadowed us and continued to call us out week after week.
We never beat the imaginary boat. Until we beat the REAL one at the Olympic Games.
Today, the spirit of “being called out” feels different. It’s as though people feel they have the right to grant permission to be called out in the right way, by the right people, and at the right moment.
That’s a missed opportunity.
To be called out changed my life. I still need this and work hard to make sure that the call outs find their way back to me. For me it is a practice in receptivity to the message and acting upon the call out.
Who is calling you out today? And on what are you being called out?
Praise is fine. Imaginary boats are better.
With gratitude, — Joe
Connect with Joe:
5 With Joe Performance Coaching
I coach seasoned professionals, who feel stuck in place, to thrive in transition and bring focus to what matters most without compromising their lives.
My personal experiences winning an Olympic Gold Medal, serving as CEO of a national sports organization, and my current “Simple, Slower, and Less” lifestyle in the Catalan Pyrenees help to form accountable and transformative collaborations that see my clients create their next and most impactful chapter.
