Forever Changing
A few weeks ago I visited with a family friend, Tom, who recounted a story from his winter spent in Chile. Tom’s family — his wife, three sons, three daughters-in-law, and nine grandchildren — take time away from their Idaho Whitewater Rafting Company during the North American Winter to run a warm weather adventure travel business in Chile. It works out perfectly, because while it is Winter in the United States, it is Summer in South America.
In between client trips, Tom took his family to see Pope Francis who was making a Papal visit in South America. The night before, Tom and his family secured a grassy spot at the event site, placed blankets on the ground, and stayed up all night. They roasted marshmallows and told stories. Very North American!
Pope Francis arrived the next day. He was a delight.
Tom pauses and then asks me, “You know what was the most amazing part?”
“What?” I ask.
“Never again in my life am I likely to see 500,000 people experience joy at exactly the same moment.”
Shared moments are a recurring thought since my conversation with Tom.
This past week, I attended the Remembrance Ceremony at the Oklahoma City National Memorial on this 23rd anniversary of the Murrah Building bombing.
After speeches and stories from the podium, the Remembrance Ceremony concludes with family members reading the names of each of the 168 people who lost their lives in the bombing.
A family member reads a name,
Then another name.
Eventually, they pause. Their voice cracks as they say the words, “My mother,” followed by the name.
Or “my son.”
Or “my grandfather.”
Then, more names are read before another family member comes to podium to continue.
At this particular ceremony, the names are read in order from those who worked on the top floor of the Murrah Building to the bottom. Finally, the names of those who lost their lives working for the Social Security Administration on the first floor are read. Two siblings read the names.
They say in unison, “Our mother, Peola Battle.”
Long pause.
“Our father, Calvin Battle.”
I look up at the siblings. Twenty-three years to the day. Their mom and dad left our world. Their world.
I have no thoughts. I have no words. My mind simply connects with them.
The mission statement of the Oklahoma City National Memorial includes an interesting passage:
“Those who were killed, those who survived, and those changed forever.”
Most of us find ourselves in the third category.
On my run the next day, I consider the power of shared moments — those in which we collectively share grief, resilience, and healing as much as we share moments of joy.
Maybe we are not so much changed forever as we are forever changing through simple, shared moments.
500,000 people sharing joyous moments in a Papal visit. One person sharing a grief-filled moment at a Remembrance Ceremony. The power is the same. The connection, if we give it space, changes us forever.
With gratitude,
Joe
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Hi, I’m Joe, the owner of 5 With Joe Performance Coaching. My clients are leaders, organizations, and teams who utilize my Olympic Gold Medal performance strategies and 40 years of navigating whitewater river rapids to streamline decision making and actions when engaged in complicated river currents of business and life.
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