In Pursuit Of Calm
Deadlines, promises, performance standards, goals, and reviews…
The pressures which would haunt me back in my days when my health was less than could be desired.
I didn’t doubt whether I could take care of all of them. I doubted whether I could MEET any of them.
I attended various professional association meetings and listened to my colleagues talk about their effective work systems. I took notes. Lots of notes. Notebooks filled with notes.
But the words and bullet points on the pages stared back at me as if they were written in another language.
The “you can do it!” environment of these professional gatherings gave me a glimmer of hope. Then I would return back to my office where reality would be waiting at my desk to punch me in the face.
By “reality,” I mean MY doubts.
“How do those other guys do it?” whispered my brain in frustrated defeat. ”They seem so together.”
Yes, I’ve come a long way since my days leading an Olympic sports organization. My small, incremental daily steps is the keystone that pulls together better practices and mindsets.
Imagine that arch in the doorway that you step through. Look up at the keystone that holds together supports of good habits and practices. (Feel free to take another look at the photo at the top of this post — the 1,000 year-old arch that holds our Cathedral together here in La Seu d’Urgell.)
Good habits of health and performance on one side meet the keystone. Good practices of better relationships and mindfulness arch up on the other side to meet the keystone. The small steps of my daily practice keep these supports together.
Everything I need is right there. Except one habit that is not there to support me.
I still don’t have a calm mind.
I’m not sure if I’ll ever have one.
I’m not sure if anyone will.
Who doesn’t have a self-image of being in pin-point control of their thoughts? Whether it is meditation in a beautiful and serene setting or on the start line of the biggest race of your life, we associate a calm mind as a critical element.
On many days, my mind sounds like a monkey who screams “Look at this!” while clanking symbols together to distract me from being present. My mind bats around the future, the past, what could be better, what needs to be done… you get the idea. Not calm.
And it’s a trap… the more I pursue a calm mind, the more I seem to be reminded that my mind is not calm.
As I tell you this, I have quite the body of work when it comes to meditation. I haven’t missed a day in more than three years of some type of formal meditation.
Yet, I’m neither an expert nor a monk. Though, I have made a breakthrough. I stopped striving for a desired state of calm while fighting off the less desired state of monkey-mind.
I replaced the *strive* with a different response:
Each morning, I let go of “strive” and replace it with notice. I just notice, without judgment.
I notice what is there on that day — in that moment. Sometimes, there is calm, but more likely, there is not.
When I notice without judging — without forcing a desired state of being — my gentle acceptance is often enough to break a loop of busy thoughts.
My practice is… to get better at noticing.
Notice. It may not be the perfect stone in the arch, but it seems to hold its own and add support to the practices & habits around it.
With gratitude,
Joe
Ps — If you enjoyed this post, it would mean a great deal to me if you shared it. Please use the hashtag #MonkeyMind
Hi, I’m Joe, the owner of 5 With Joe Performance Coaching. My clients are leaders, organizations, and teams who utilize my Olympic Gold Medal performance strategies and 40 years of navigating whitewater river rapids to streamline decision making and actions when engaged in complicated river currents of business and life.
The best way to interact with me is though Sunday Morning Joe, my weekly newsletter that explores the art of improving performance, overcoming challenge, and aligning with purpose for Sunday readers in search of more depth and motivation. Subscribe HERE for free.
