My Best Christmas Story Is Not Normal
My Best Christmas Story isn’t even mine.
But now it belongs to me, my daughter, my wife, my extended family, and friends of ours. Something about this true-life story, has become the most mentioned tale every year when we gather with family and friends. In separate groups, events, dinners or coffees.
The story belongs to my childhood friend. It’s his story and I wasn’t there when it happened. But I heard about it that night, when we talked on the phone like we did every night. The family land line phone. The kind with a long cord from a phone on the wall in the kitchen. Yes, Virginia, we did have those kinds of phones when we were young.
Part of the appeal of Christmas is the tradition. The stories that don’t change. The past events that memory must not change. Not just what we do, but the order in which they must be done. Keeping to a the holiday *order* is sort of a standard of perfection.
Of course, since a holiday involves humans, our imperfections occasionally provoke the order of Christmas.
Let’s go back in time.
My friend’s dad, let’s call him Hal, is under the decorated tree making some adjustments to the tree stand as someone decided that the tree wasn’t straight… enough.
While adjusting the stabilizing screws in the tree stand, the giant, fully decorated tree fell over on top of Hal. Not only is the ornament and big-light-bulb laden tree on top of Hal, but he is covered with water that previously was in the tree stand. Which was pretty funny. To everyone in the room. Except Hal.
In what was described to me as a real life Incredible Hulk, “Don’t make me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry,” moment, Hal may have raised his voice and done a few things that among other things involves the Christmas tree going airborne for a few moments.
But, as I tell this story, it occurs to me that I always tell it from my friend’s perspective.Perhaps there’s an entirely different perspective?
So using the investigative skills acquired from diligently writing these posts every week for over a year, I found this statement from the 1983 Christmas Tree Diaries. Here’s the Christmas Tree in its own words:
Sometimes we’re not perfectly straight. Not the end of the world, right?
I get it. Christmas breeds a little tension. Somewhere between non-stop Lionel Richie hits on the radio and the inexplicable yearning for Cabbage Patch Kids, even I can see how people might be a bit removed from their normal selves.
For the record, I was straight enough. All of us trees are different and I may appear to be a little crooked to some observers.
So, in the quest for Christmas perfection and standing me a little straighter, a small accident happens — I fall over. Maybe on top of one of the people. No big deal. Stand me back up, let’s have a good laugh, and we’re back on track.
Whoa, wait a minute. This human-person decided to hold me horizontally over his head and I realize we’re about to ignore the Order of Christmas. As well as some laws of dimension. How many attempts does it take for one person to ram a 7 foot conifer through a 3 foot wide doorway before he realizes I won’t fit?
Things are beginning to spiral out of control here. Out on the front step and now this guy is lining up to punt me like a football!
Despite the poor toe-to-tree connection, he sends me sailing through the air. In mid-flight I think, “In my next life, maybe I’ll come back as a menorah.”
I land on the front-yard’s steep downhill grade and start rolling, decorations-lights-and-all, towards the street. The street is on a downhill too. Now I get why all the boys play catch in the backyard. Out of control velocity!
Finally, I come to a stop at the neighbor’s mailbox. Perhaps a few ornaments less but by virtue of being a Christmas Tree, I have a few take-aways for all of you:
Nontraditional: The Christmas stories that break tradition are some of the best Christmas stories.
Resilience: A strong core with soft and flexible branches is a good recipe for enduring a moment of pain.
Embrace Imperfection: Think Charlie Brown.
Sincerely,
Christmas Tree (aka “Hang Time”)
You don’t remember the stuff that goes normal. Merry Christmas everyone!
As America’s first ever Olympic Gold Medalist in Whitewater Canoe Slalom, Joe promotes strategies and shares stories for living and performing at your best, doing the work that matters and engaging with purpose. His platforms include performance coaching and consulting, professional speaking, broadcasting and his weekly newsletter, “Sunday Morning Joe.”
