The Cost Of Buying Back Your Attention
I was never quite sure how long the alarm had been buzzing. But the next 30 seconds play out something like this:
Roll over.
Pick up the phone off of the night table.
Turn off the alarm.
Close the clock screen.
Click the email icon.
Pick up the TV remote.
Turn on the news.
Awake for less a minute, my attention is safely in the hands of its new owners, Other People.
I vaguely remember the rest of my “Get to work” routine — get dressed, make breakfast, pack up my computer bag, etc. What I clearly remember is not feeling like myself.
But, one morning, years into this mind-numbing routine, with no goal or master plan, I turn off the alarm and ask myself, “What would happen if I put the phone back down on the night table?”
After closing the clock screen on my phone, I place the phone back from where I picked it up — next to the television remote, which lies there calling to be picked up.
Instead, I drink a glass of water. Then I pick up a notebook and pen. I write down a few thoughts about where I am in my life and what I am doing on this day.
Total time? About five minutes. Not calm or relaxing minutes, but five quiet ones.
Then, I give my attention back to emails and the news.
Except, on this morning, I kept my attention for five minutes longer than I had in a long time.
So, the next day, I repeat this process again. And then again for a few more days after that. I did not experience a radical change, except…
A few mornings later, I choose to build on this small change. After the glass of water and some journal writing, instead of the email and TV option, I walk into the living room, open a blank document on my computer and start to write a story. One of my stories. Perhaps a story that someone may find interesting one day. Or maybe not. But I enjoy change. So the next day, I write another story.
Within a few weeks, there is not enough time left before leaving for work to make turning on the television worthwhile. And, I never discover a single email that made me wish I had checked my messages within an hour of waking up.
Soon, I start to walk out the door every morning as if I already have accomplished something of significance.
Cada Dia
Cada Dia is the Catalan expression for “Every Day.” Today, and years after this story begins, the choice to buy back a little bit more of my attention is not a one-day sale. It is a daily purchase.
I simply ask:
“What would happen if I put the phone back on the night table?”
Cada Dia.
With gratitude,
-Joe
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