The Regrettable Yes
It’s the last thing we want to do, but inevitably we say…
“Sure, I can come into the office on Saturday for a few hours.”
“I’d be happy to sit in on the meeting in your place.”
“Ok, I’ll help with the fundraiser.”
“Yes, I can meet for coffee.”
The reasons for saying yes are all over the board. I’m sure I’ve used most of them. Guilt. Fear. Politeness. Or perhaps desperation — maybe this time, finally, I’ll receive in return the recognition that gets me a step ahead.
So (again), we put our truth on hold and agree to their need.
You know that checklist you keep in your head? The one you think people will recall?
Most often, we check the “yes” boxes in hope that gate keepers and influencers will take notice. But whose boxes do you think THEY are checking? It’s not yours. It’s not mine. They are checking boxes of people they view as stronger than them.
The Reluctant Yes
With each reluctant “yes,” we suffocate the time and energy we depend upon to guide us forward.
Tools such as goal-setting apps and weekly planners are useless.
With each reluctant “yes,” our “no thank you” muscle wastes away.
And it’s not about saying yes to the right requests or even saying yes to fewer opportunities for involvement.
The Strong No Thank You
You must become the master of “No Thank You.” In these three words are the magic that strengthens your clarity of discernment of each “ask” that comes your way.
Few actions in life are more uncomfortable than saying no to a request. But if the request is hiding an obligation that doesn’t fit in to your life, why are you obligated to the obligation?
Summoning up your courage to deliver the difficult “no thank you” gets your own oxygen flowing again.
Think of it this way, the last time you asked someone to sit in on a meeting, or have coffee, or help with a fundraiser — and they said no — do you remember who it was and when it was? Probably not.
Obligations are a dime a dozen, and count on the easy yes.
Don’t be obliged to another person’s obligation.
With gratitude,
Joe
Hi, I’m Joe, the owner of 5 With Joe Performance Coaching. My clients are leaders, organizations, and teams who utilize my Olympic Gold Medal performance strategies and 40 years of navigating whitewater river rapids to streamline decision making and actions when engaged in complicated river currents of business and life.
The best way to interact with me is though Sunday Morning Joe, my weekly newsletter that explores the art of improving performance, overcoming challenge, and aligning with purpose for Sunday readers in search of more depth and motivation. Subscribe HERE for free.
