Your Empathetic System
How was I to know that this one tiny patch of green grass near our apartment in our new Spanish town was NOT a place for our little dog to relieve himself?
The fact that I don’t speak Catalan (the local language) doesn’t stop the woman who lives 2 stories above the green patch from leaning out her window over the flower box to let me know how she feels about the situation.
My poodle-charge and I quickly escape down the outdoor stairway and into a park that is home to the very active 1992 Olympic whitewater canoeing center.
Several athletes are on the water preparing for the upcoming World Championships in nearby France. During one paddler’s training run, his view is obstructed by a less experienced paddler coming down the channel from up above. Tension quickly builds.
The fact that I don’t speak the language doesn’t stop the experienced athlete from looking directly at me to tell me exactly how he feels about the interference. He may have used a few additional gestures that helped convey his frustration.
At some point, I will understand much more Spanish and Catalan than I currently do. That said, although I understand so little, I comprehend so much.
The surface noises of languages and conversations that I don’t understand seem to sharpen my attention towards the authentic messages that underlay the spoken words.
For this I have gratitude. Because in lieu of words, empathy is stepping in to my life as the voice of clarity.
What the woman wants is a clear patch of green grass below her window.
What the young athlete wants is to work through the nerves and stress leading up to the season’s most important competition.
All of which makes me think of a concept I rarely consider in my native English conversations with friends, family, and colleagues: What is the truth that I don’t hear when I hyper-focus on the words that I so thoroughly recognize?
Does the over-analysis of stated words deflect the real messages that attempt to reach me?
We all like to say we listen. And that’s what we should be doing. Less talking, more listening. But sometimes we focus so closely on the words, that we don’t catch the subtle, underlying, and even hidden portion of the conversation.
There is a system that encourages the release of a message from the bonds of its captor-words. It’s your body’s empathetic system.
Next time you are in an animated conversation, turn off your ears, and allow your empathetic system to tune in to the message that seeks to be heard.
With gratitude,
Joe
Hi, I’m Joe, the owner of 5 With Joe Performance Coaching. My clients are leaders, organizations, and teams who utilize my Olympic Gold Medal performance strategies and 40 years of navigating whitewater river rapids to streamline decision making and actions when engaged in complicated river currents of business and life.
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